When I search #liveauthentic what follows is hundreds of posts of vacation destinations, pristine lakes, huge mountains and many photos of model friends or model families come up. Now I love to look at these photos as much as anyone, they're beautiful. But I want to argue the fact that they aren't really showing off the true meaning of authenticity. Because if they were truly authentic would they be all over the internet?
authentic (a.) an undisputed origin and not a copy; genuine. I think the problem that exists today is we are so wrapped up in everyone else's seemingly "authentic" life that we forget how to live for ourselves. We check places like Pinterest and Instagram on a daily basis to find the perfect outfits, perfect families, perfect life. But is it really perfect? It seems pretty staged to me. Put there for us to find it and repin/repost for the next person to find and think we have the perfect outfit, perfect family and perfect life... and so continues the process. I think what we need to do is get our focus back to our own life. We need to find our purpose and not just survive in the place where we are, but truly live in it. When we get our focus off of others in their "perfect" life then we realise instead of fantasizing what life could be, we can truly enjoy and live our own life. God created us to live authentic and if we have Him then we truly have it all. You can be assured that if you are walking with your gaze focused on Him and moving when He says go and stopping when He says stop then you are living the way He created you to live. Let's find our own authentic life instead of trying to live everyone else's. Are you with me?
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There is one thing that I might consider to be the biggest thing I struggle with. I have for many years and still do to this day. That struggle is the fear of being forgotten or not valued. Broken relationship over the years have only added to this fear. The first time I remember it was when my dad left. I remember the fighting for some time but I still remember the exact moment that he moved out for good. I was sitting a the piano in my living room practicing for my mom and then the yelling started as he was coming down the stairs with his bags, and then he was gone. It's incredible how 16 years later I still remember that day as clear as if it were yesterday. A few years later when I was old enough to fully understand the weight of being adopted I felt the pain again, my birth parents didn't want me, they left me. Now obviously I still don't feel the pain from those moments. Otherwise I probably wouldn't be able to write about them. I forgave those people a few years back now and the Lord filled those empty spots with so much love. The struggle now though is this wound. This deep wound of hurt, of important people leaving. The littlest things trigger it. Having a group of friends do something together, but not getting invited (a lot of times because they didn't think I would be interested). Or not getting many messages or phone calls from people unless I message them first. It's so little, except so big to me. I fight it, I remind myself that this is all in my head. Just the devil's ploy to get me to feel sorry for myself. To get me to worry and stress over whether or not I have done something wrong or am not worth valuing. Something has to change though. I'm writing this from a place of not having it figured out at all. I have actually been struggling to write this blog for a week but I know that God is pushing me to be vulnerable and share even though I don't really have the answer yet. I know that God values me so much. The proof of that value was sending Jesus to the cross on behalf of me so I could truly live out the life He has for me today and live with Him forever. So my promise to you is this. I will wake up every day and remind myself that God values me regardless of whether I feel loved or forgotten about that day. Because it's not about how I feel, but the proof that God loves me. He knows I am still here. Photo from: http://darlingmagazine.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/sitting-in-tree.jpg
chaos (n.) complete disorder and confusion This word has come to mind more often in the last few months than I would care to admit. I look at our world some days and think, "How has it come to this?" With attacks (whether terrorist or not) happening all around us on a weekly basis it can look as if all hope is lost. A couple of mornings ago I was reading about the latest terrorist attack in Nice, France. For me personally I have always viewed places in Europe as exotic and beautiful and safe and relaxing. A place to go and almost escape the real world. In the last few months though, it seems as though the "real world", full of destruction and pain is more real in Europe than any other place. With attacks in Paris, Brussels, and now Nice in a number of months some of the places that seem the most exotic and known as tourist destinations are now plagued by fear and hopelessness. When people now think of going to Europe, at the forefront of their mind is will they be safe? In the past month I have been putting a lot of time aside to learn to rest in the Lord. Now do you know what I feel instead of this chaos? This fear that is eating people up when they think about traveling and ISIS and just danger in general? I feel calm. I feel peace. The answer to all of our worries, all of our fear and all of the mess that seems to be swallowing the world is Jesus. It's leaning into Him and trusting Him in the midst of the mess. Just remember, you are a child of the king who is not moved by the world, for your God is with you and goes before you and you do not need to fear because you are His. Rest in His peace, because in that peace you are safe and have hope. - - - Please continue to pray for Paris, Brussels, Nice and the many other places and people around the world who are hurting due to terrorist attacks and violence. In Prince Caspian, part of C.S. Lewis's Narnia Chronicles there is an excerpt that I want to share with you. A circle of grass, smooth as a lawn, met her eyes, with dark trees dancing all round it. And then-oh joy! For he was there: a huge Lion, shining white in the moonlight, with his huge black shadow underneath him. But for the movement of his tail he might have been a stone lion, but Lucy never thought of that. She never stopped to think whether he was a friendly lion or not. She rushed to him. She felt her heart would burst if she lost a moment. And the next thing she knew was that she was kissing him and putting her arms as far round his neck as she could and burying her face in the beautiful rich silkiness of his mane. "Aslan, Aslan. Dear Aslan," sobbed Lucy. "At last." The great beast rolled over on his side so that Lucy fell, half sitting and half lying between his front paws. He bent forward and touched her nose with his tongue. His warm breath came all round her. She gazed up into the large wise face. "Welcome, child." he said. "Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger." "That is because you are older, little one," answered he. "Not because you are?" "I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger." It's interesting that as we grow and discover who God is we will find Him bigger. In the book I am reading (The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan) it says that this passage from Prince Caspian is the perfect description of those who train themselves in God's sovereignty: every year you grow, you find him bigger. The best way to embody and focus on training ourselves in God's sovereignty is thankfulness. When we choose to move in thankfulness we find that our troubles seem so much smaller and insignificant because we find that we can focus completely on God. When we put our eyes entirely on the God who holds the universe in His hands then there is no other problem that can seem too big. The book also says, we must practice through thankfulness the presence of God until we are utterly convinced of His goodness and sovereignty and then we can find our rest in Him alone. I truly believe that if we focus entirely on Him with thankfulness BEFORE we go to Him and say "hey there is this issue I need you to resolve for me", then we'll realise it wasn't as big an issue as we thought. Photo from: http://weheartit.com/entry/83464858
photo by: http://tragichours.tumblr.com/post/45597491070 A year ago I titled my website "Set Apart With a Purpose". I asked the Lord for a phrase that He wanted me to focus on when it came to what He was teaching me and what my ministry to others could be. What He told me was that He had a purpose set apart specifically for me that looked unlike anyone else's purpose. And then He told me that He has done this for every person on this planet. I knew what the words meant but I must say I was very far off from believing that those words were true in my life.
This past week I have been challenged by the Lord to not just "know" these things that He is saying to me but to have the "belief or the faith" to walk into them. See I believe that in order to keep moving forward it requires us to jump, to leap into the unknown. Because what is growth without some challenges? So if I know that the Lord has told me "you are set apart with a purpose" then I need to be asking Him what the purpose is and walking into it. We can't just sit in a place of knowing but not being willing to do. This doesn't just apply to me either. When I first received these words from the Lord he encouraged me that EVERYONE is set apart. That as much as I needed to understand what these words meant for me, I was called to help others better understand what these words meant for them. I believe that we need to lead by example. So this is me saying, I'm taking the steps to figure this out. I am letting the Lord tell me my purpose step by step. To call out the things in myself that I am set apart for. I want to challenge you all to do the same. If the Lord has recently spoken to you about something that He is calling you into, I challenge you to take that step in faith. If you haven't heard the Lord speak but feel like there should be something more, then I challenge you to sit with Him and ask Him where you can be set apart. Then actually do it! Step out in faith when He speaks to you. Be confident that I am doing the same. We are all in this together. And we are ALL set apart with a purpose. |