Have you ever messed up? Okay okay, I know this is probably such a pointless question to ask you because... well duh. We're all sinners, we all mess up and we all have our issues.
No, this isn't a blog post about all of the problems we as humans have. It's not a blog post about what we can do to fix all of our issues (although I do wish it was as easy as 1,2,3). This my friends, is a blog post about our own view of God when we mess up. "Strike number three, I'm sorry. I can't love you anymore. I'm done with your mistakes'." Now, that might sound kind of harsh. Maybe not all of us think that God responds in this way when we mess up. You would be surprised though how many of us to some extent think that is true for our own lives when we mess up. Even if it's not to the extremity and harshness I used. We look at the version of Old Testament God. A God of rules and regulations, a God who has consequences. But we likely miss out on the New Testament version. A God who despite our mistakes wants to have a real relationship with us. Something that has always been true but one that can now be personal because the veil has been torn and we don't have to go through some protocol to connect or talk to Him. We know God is love. So why can't we look at the verses in the bible and read them as TRUTH. (it (love) keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:5) If God is love and love keeps no record of our wrongs then why are we keeping tally marks? Like I said, we are all sinners, we all mess up and we definitely all have our issues. But what we can't forget is God is NOT keeping track. He isn't keeping a list of tally marks to condemn and disown us if our limit reaches too high. He loves us despite our wrong doings. There may be consequences but His love is limitless. It reaches past the consequences to stand beside us as we receive them. Next time you think that you've messed it up too bad to receive love or forgiveness remember this... He fights for you, He always have and always will. He always loves and He always will. He always stands by you even in your darkness just as much as the light. His truth reigns above all else....(love keeps no record of wrongs). So next time you think God is up there keeping His list of tally marks.. well He isn't.
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I've lived overseas for almost all of my adult life. Most of that has been in Brisbane, Australia. On Monday I left that place that I considered to be home the most to move on to something brand new. It hurt, my heart hurts.
I think one of the biggest lies we can buy into in Christianity is that when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour that everything is going to be great all of the time. Life will get better, it will get easier and we will be just cruising through life with Jesus. That is so not true. I have had my fair share of tear stained pillow moments over the past few years. Whether it's crying out to God that I need help with my family, or fighting with Him over His purposes and plans for me (which most of the time and complete opposite of what I want), or leaving a place I call home to move into a new season and a new home. The real point I am getting at is this love. This love that we as humans try our best to describe and feel but unless you are Jesus you don't have it all figured out. This love that is so immense that it hurts to leave it, God gave me a capacity to love that was greater than I ever thought possible when I asked Him if I could have His heart a few years back. His love is so rich and pure and wild and reckless. His love has given me the ability to sit with people at all hours of the day and listen as they talk about their struggles and just feel the love God has for them, But when you have to leave those people God has given you love for, it feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest and scattered in pieces on the floor. (Sorry for the visuals!) There is always more to be filled. It doesn't feel empty for long because His love is endless. But can I just say I've thought a lot about what it felt like when Jesus hung on that cross and He did it out of love. This love I am feeling is far lesser than the love Jesus felt and here I am leaving people and places I love and feeling heartbroken. How much more did Jesus feel as humanity turned it's back on a God who loved them? If I have to suffer this heartbreak more than a few times in my life doing missions and moving from place to place I render it worth it because how much more to know that people are returning to the Love that loved them first. Returning to a God who has spent eternity creating, loving and destining greatness amongst His people and begging and fighting for them to return home into His loving arms. I miss my Brisbane home. I miss the people that challenged me, that picked me up and dusted me off when I felt I didn't have more to give. The people who allowed the Holy Spirit to lead them as they had conversations with me and countless others. I lived with a group of world changers that my heart misses more than anything. One thing I know though, the love that I have in my heart for all of those people, the love that I can feel guilty of walking away from when God calls me elsewhere is with them, but in it's fullness. Because when I never have enough capacity to love everyone with Jesus' heart, He does. And that's what He is doing right now. |